stressed..

superly worried for this thursday's quiz . sighz =X

equations are turning into stars in my eyes .

it's friday already..

hm, been trying to keep myself busy..
there's so much things to do
but so moodless

This morning, had a long drive to sch, thanx to jams everywhere around my house area.
Braddell Rd jam, outside RI also jam, becos of a chokepoint at Lornie Rd

At Supersnacks now in PGP.
Got out a draft of our Sun homework for monday's submission
Coming to school tmr to discuss with Zi Qi & Sir Hong (and maybe Terence if he can make it).
"Bleeding Love" has been playing countless times on power98..
Everytime i hear it, brings back mixed feelings & thoughts..
Am quite crazy bout tis song now, its so nicely played & arranged & all :)
& the bass is greatt!

trying to work out a study plan now, and hopefully, FOLLOW it..
arghhh *bang wall*

i still think of those days..
70 & 14 days

the final countdown

Exactly 4 more weeks to final exam.
First paper starts on 26 April.

Meanwhile, still have all these coming up:
Fluids Quiz next thurs 3 Apr
M.O.M. quiz on 13Apr tat week, &
Design module test on 19Apr.

Not forgetting Sun homework due next monday 31st Mar,
and Proj report due 7Apr.

Final exam papers on 26th & 28th Apr and 3rd 6th and 8th May.

Take care :)
Dun give up.. Look ahead & strive on..
U can do it de =)

Been a long tiring day..
Felt so disoriented still.
And s a d .

I still cant bear to call it quits.
But the ball's not in my court anymore..

Whatever the outcome is in the end, (if there is one)
Please do take good care of yourself.
I dont want to see u get hurt again by the same thing.

Take Care..

disbelief

This really sucked. As in, really S-U-C-K-E-D.

Yeah, I never expected things to end this way. Definitely not.
That had never occurred to me all these while.
I tried, I really did. Up til the very last moment.
I still tried to help you see light.
I tried to salvage whatever that was damaged.
I thought that talking would clear things up. And settle things better.

Well, even as a friend, I think it was only right to, at the very very least, make some time to talk about everything. In person. i.e. A proper chat.
I think I deserve that from you, at the very least.
Consider it the most basic form of respect for someone who really genuinely cared.
Or if that isnt significant at all, at the very least, for a f-r-i-e-n-d now.
Not this.
You are able to find time to do other things still. Despite a busy schedule.
So is it really so difficult to set aside some time to talk to somebody who really cared all these while? Even if it might mean jus one more time?

Yeah, jus saying to forget about it all and pretend nothing ever happened.
Its easy to say.
And i cant believe you actually tell that to me.

Thanks for walking out of my life in this way.
It was the very LAST thing I would have expected to happen.
In fact, I never even expected it.
nOt from you.

Just did something drastic. Never thought i would ever do that..
approx 986 msges.

The feeling of being ignored sucks. Like totally.

Is it really the end of everything?


=================================================

Saturday

went to see the doc ytd morning as well, to check out my left eye. Sheesh, even eyes can hav abrasions which are bad. luckily i went to get it checked out early and got some medicine for it.. afternoon went back to sch awhile. It started pouring like mad when we left school..

Yesterday's was Kyrin's bdae.. haha. So happy to see her so happy.. its her 21st! Sam got a cake in the shape of a key and her photo on it. Wonder how they'r gonna cut that cake with her photo on it. hehehe! reached home bout 10.40pm yesterday. just din feel like doing anything already. slept by 11.30pm.. and today? i woke at 10+! one of the rare times i can sleep til so late.. hur hur .

yeah, tis few days i keep blogging. lots and lots on my mind.. =(

l o s t . a b s o l u t e l y .

Yeah, talk about a million and a zillion thoughts.. Some many weeks ago, things were all up and running smoothly. And then, suddenly everything just seems to come down, as if its a curtain closing upon a show and signifying the end of everything. I dunno, cant say i didnt try my best for everything. I tried, I really did..

I guess its time i channel some of my energy on other things, such as projects, catching up on lagging school work, & just being there for another friend..
yeah, sometimes trying to help n being concerned might turn out to be harmful since ultimately, it could be perceived by others to be intrusive, meddlesome, or as most singaporeans might put it, kay-poh-ism.. but I guess its either I get overworried bout this & leave a friend in the lurch, or I heck these potential comments & be just sincere abt everything. I choose to choose the latter. I know how it feels like when one really wants to talk to someone, but there's just no one to talk to and confide in, and everything is just kept within instead..

I think I reali suck at helping ppl sometimes.. Just am unsure when i should or should not come in . hmm..

But I really do mean to just be there for someone, and listen, talk, anything..

Take Care :)

Good Friday

It's Good Friday today.. A public holiday. Mel Liping Jian and the gang all are supposed to be at sentosa today. but i cant join them, cos i hav to come back to sch to work on my Heavenly Math project. (yeah, am in sch now.. at 5.48pm. haa) .

The sun was initially great in the morning, but in the afternoon, it started to pour again, before being dry again now.. sigh. i shld have captured the ring shadow in the morning irregardless of the time since the weather is so unpredictable. Regretz.. Ok, tmr, i shall not make the same mistake. Catch the sun while it can..

Am with Sir Hong and ZiQi now in sch.. with donuts, bread, m&ms and our laptops with us.. Zzz . We wont be having any holidays for the coming 2weeks, with a deadline each week =X

At the crossroads. Its either make it or break it now..
A million thoughts run through my mind every now and then throughout these days.
I really tried..

reflections at bishan stadium..

Just had a short but tiring jog just now.. had a good workout with afew rounds around the track at bishan stadium, and then overworking my stomach n arms with crunches and pushups.. im gonna wake up with a cramped stomach tmr.

Relationships. Well, things do really work in strange ways sometimes. Just now after school, was talking with marcus, and found out that he and Jasmin are now attached, together. It started off as a joking jesting session which he started it all, but when my turn came to "poke" at him, the answer came back was an initial surprise to me. haha.. Hm, the first thoughts that went through my mind was pretty much mixed, and subsequently, more thoughts. But I am really happy for the both of them! =) I hope that they will both stay happy together.. My best wishes to them both :)

hm, today was a pretty dry day. The best time was lunchtime.. sheesh. I ate a heck of a lot of food at arts canteen. I was hungry, was not exactly veerrrryyyy hungry. But well, just eat. Went back to engin to help sara with manning the booth for FOP councillor recruitment.. had a good chat with YK and Jemuel too :) nice guys..

Been feeling extremely bad and guilty for the past 3days.

I jus want to understand the situation better first..

open house . .

hm, a pretty long week for me. Tiring, lots of work, and 2 labs! sheesh =X
times-wise, well, there were both ups and downs.
When it was down, it was really down.
But when it was up-times, it turned out well.

Was back in school for open house today. Pretty interesting, considering I was pretty much lost at how to approach potential freshies to get them to sign up for engin camp! =X especially the girls..
And so, I made myself useful by keying into the laptop the particulars as and when the names n details came in, so that I can save the time for whoever who's in charge of consolidating the names.
(well, at least save the time of typing 50+names. haha)
there came a time where we had an overload of ppl at the booth, and the nussu guy had to give us kind warnings time and again. And so, we had to stagger our ppl who stayed at the booths to "attract" ppl.

haha. Kuok Foundation house rooms seem so much nicer than PGP ones! well, at least, for my fren's room =) haha
Makes me wanna stay in one of the rooms, even if it's just for 1 semester.

Had a long day yesterday.. 9-10 lecture, 12-2 lecture, 2-4+ lab, 4+ to 6.30 vivo & Queensway shopping centre (to collect the camp comm jerseys), 6.30-7.45pm Lecture. Long LONG day.....

and certainly not made any better. Thought that with a sleep, it'd pass.
But no. Still feel like s-h-i-t today.

the past week

hm, okay, one week has passed.. just like that. yeah, time is really flying, i tink i keep saying that. haha.. this past week has been rather eventful. Well, not in the sense of many many events, but along the way, with numerous minute things in the days, and experiences which held me down, lifted me up, and also things that got me thinking.

Monday was a studying day as well as a day filled with lots of thoughts.. And well, tuesday was spent busy mugging and preparing for the tests on wednesday. I had 2 tests on wednesday by the way, so it did seem crazy that after school after studying all afternoon with sara, i wasnt headed home yet, but to get, and give, something else to someone else :) Well, time is for us to balance.. yeah, it might sound crazy since i had not 1 but 2 tests the next day, but when planned wisely, the time wouldnt be actually considered a waste. The "rocks" are most important in our lives, and they deserve sacrifices :) well, most of the time..

Wednesday, the day of the 2 tests.

Thursday, well, I spent the break doing some studying, then after lunch and lecture, headed out to IMM to buy Weishan's bdae present, and also to recce for items prices in Giant for the engin camp budget planning. While searching for Weishan's present, couldnt help but notice another item which was super attractive, and without much of a second thought, i decided to buy it as another Good Luck gift. Met up with Dawn and Tsinli and afew others at Weishan's house, and had a good catching up time.. after talking to Tsinli, some things did come to my mind and set me pondering.

Friday was a short day, with onli one lecture from 9-10am, after which met with Kyin to study tog while waiting for Sam, then awaiting the time for the FSAE Centennial 4 (C4) car official launch and unveiling. The day started off filled with anticipation and well-wishing, from which afew hours later, it turned to abit of worry, and then in the midst of laughing non-stop @ "Friends" on kyrin's laptop, the feeling of some reservations mixed in for the rest of the day. Made a last minute decision to head for a jog at east coast park, but instead, I just sat at the breakwater for some time. to relax, do some thinking and reflections. Yeah, well, maybe its called emo-ing or withdrawal instead, rather than thinking/reflections. whatever.. i dont care.
The last time i went there was when i felt reali reali hurt by something else.. yeah, guys do have feelings too.

Today, well, was dead tired cos i slept very late last night, so i woke up late. Had a slow day, and in the midst of everything, went to cut my hair, send my car for washing. ended with dinner at tpy with my family, and yeah, now, online again.. There are some things which i really really wish to accomplish and settle this weekend, but I guess I'm nowhere near accomplishing it. Perhaps not this weekend i guess.

Here's 3 photos i took of C4 yesterday:







08 March 08,
2305 hrs

recess week is coming to an end

Time reali flies, zooms, speeds, whatever.. we shld have a speed camera to catch time when it speeds too! okk, a lame attempt at being lame.. haha =X

anywaes, 1wk has flown by.. Just last sat, the midterm break had jus started. It seems like lots of time to work and relax. Today, it is left one more day before school resumes again, and midterm tests descends upon us for next week.. The panic button has been pressed, but i still have lots to do! hm, balancing time is very impt.. between work and play.

Will be having Feedback Control and Physics II quizzes on Wednesday at 12nn and 6pm respectively.. Mechanics of materials Quiz will be from 5-15 March online.. Open House will be on 15-16 March.. and not forgetting, other things to focus and do too :)

hm, i think i can reali throw away all my fears and worries ler.. well, i SHOULD. Its very tiring on myself, and i know it can get quite sian diao on others' part too.. when i worry and think too much, and inadvertantly, over-read (incorrectly) in between the lines, so i shld learn to be MORE optimistic, and nOt worry too much unnecessarily. Despite having some small bouts of worries and uncertainties, mixed with anticipation for the past 3days, it has turned out tat all that worries were uncalled for, cos today turned out well, and i think it was a pretty good day today, I'm so very happy and relieved now :)

and i love the sweets =P