Sunday, December 30, 2007
A week packed with events. And results were released this week. A week of anxiety and worries about how i would do this time, and whether my CAP would be pulled up this time around. Monday was Christmas eve. We enjoyed a run in the morning followed by a shower, relaxation, and then a half day off. Tuesday: Christmas. spent it at home. relaxing, cleaned up some stuffs.. Wednesday. It was back at work, as usual. By this time i was more or less readied to drop oout of the team. I have spent many days thinking about this, going through the pros and cons, each and every aspect of what i want and do not want. Having weighed the points, spoken to afew friends, both from school, and my fellow VA officers. Some of the frens whom i spoke to were genuinely ready to listen n help provide a neutral opinion, such as Raynor, Eugene Goh, Eugene Tay, Jas and Jas, Sara. Some of them provided points of view which i have not considered about, which was why i'd wanted to speak to my closer friends, and perhaps gain their 3rd-party opinions. Well, some, i thought were close friends. I could finally reach a decision, even if it was an extremely difficult decision to make. But for my own good, I guess I really do have to make it. Also caught up with Sara on wed evening, and we had a good chat abt many things happening in our lives, as well as worrying bout our results. haha.. congrats to SAra =) went to sleep with a very weary mind. Sometimes, looking forward to something is not good for u. Especially if u were really looking forward to the event, and at the last minute, a change is made. Sometimes, it makes u feel not to really want to plan anything. Or look forward to anything for that matter. Its not that u are pessimistic. Just weary. Thurs morning, while we were in camp, ready to go off for a run, the message only came thru to us that our briefing was to be conducted in 5min time. n we were still in PT kit. It was change parade then. Light later dawned on us that one among us already knew the timing, but the message just wasnt passed down to us. Was my half day leave as well, had a relatively good time with jas walking around Bugis, MArina Sq & Raffles City, and Velocity, looking for something. Haha. My legs were almost broken from all the walking. Had dinner at J8 myself before dropping off Jas at home, and headed to Jason's place for afew more hours of interaction and fun. Friday, Cohesion Day for us. We started the day with Badminton at SAFRA Tampines, followed by the Forest Adventure at Bedok Reservoir Park, Movie (I Am LEgend) at Great World City, and dinner ala buffet at River View Hotel. Had a ball of a time in the day esp playing badminton with Eugene n Sanjev, and the Forest ADventure where i had 2hrs of confidence building and overcoming of my fear of heights. Results were released this week as well. I'd finally had an improvement from my previous grade. Well, it wasnt spectacular, and with 2 modules wasnt what i'd expected, but well, the bell curve works in strange ways. I'm just glad that i have improved, and hopefully, can continue to improve. It is stressful to see the reaction of some people when they give u the shocked unbelieving expression that u are not doing as well as they are, and who verbally patronise you.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
memorable end to a weekend
This weekend, i shld say, was packed with activities. And i never felt bored much.. on saturday, after stoning abit at home and surfing the net, i went to cut my hair before coming home for lunch again. Lunch was mum's cooking. Jus before going home, i went to get my car washed (after not washing it for more than 1month!), and also dropped by jasmin's void deck as she returned me my harddisk, thumbdrives and some VCDs. She also gave me a present for Christmas -- a book called "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, and chocs. I've browsed thru the book and i think it will make some interesting reading, esp since it is broken up into "40-days" of reading, so to speak, and I shall aim to read one chapter each day over the next 40days. I love the book, and I shall take good care of it.. It is my only Christmas present this yr other than Les Miserables which sam n kyrin gave me, and it means alot alot to me. thanx =) [sigh... too bad my wrapping sucks. I wanna wrap it in plastic so as not to help it grow dog ears =\ anyone help me? haha] After sending sis to sch, i met up with Eugene Tay and raynor for Alvin and the Chipmunks.. I think it is a very nice movie and a very happy one! Went to buy the soundtrack immediately after watching the show.. haha. AFter accompanying Eugene to buy d bdae present for his fren, we sent him to the party venue before heading to PS ourselves (Raynor and I) to catch Lust, Caution. I also feel that this movie is well-built upon and there are twists and turns in the show. This brings the story out well, though i didnt expect the ending to end the way it did.
Today (Sunday 23 Dec): Happy Birthday to Jasmine Loo!
went out with my family from morning til 4pm. Walked around OG and the Middle Road area. While mum and sis were looking at clothes, i spent my time walking around, looking at toys and cars. Makes me wan to revert to my childhood days once again. Was looking at wallets too cuz mine has been at least 1yr already. but sis reminded me though its old n abit worn, its still not spoilt and totally gone case yet. haha.. after resting for abt 15min at home, i changed and went out again to meet Jasmin, Keith Teo and MArcus at their church for the musical and also dinner. All in all, it was a reali nice evening and i reali enjoyed my time with them all.. appreciate their invitations to attend :) Also had a nice time talking with Keith's gf abt working in prison services. It was a short chat but and interesting one where we shared abit of experiences. Dinner was also nice chatting 3 their friends, Marcus, Keith and his gf (dun wanna risk misspelling her name here :x ) Dropped Keith, his gf and another of their frens at thomson for their drinks, i left for home. I would hav liked to join in the the later part of the evening to noe more of JAsmin's Marcus' and Keith's friends, but due to the time and also for me to hav a proper rest before a run early tmr morning, i decided i shldnt just go for 45min and then leave cuz it wun be very nice nor polite. Shall read the first chapter (for Day One) of my one Christmas present now :)
I hope God will carry her thru and her language can be mustered well and all before she goes off to Germany for SEP :)
Today (Sunday 23 Dec): Happy Birthday to Jasmine Loo!
went out with my family from morning til 4pm. Walked around OG and the Middle Road area. While mum and sis were looking at clothes, i spent my time walking around, looking at toys and cars. Makes me wan to revert to my childhood days once again. Was looking at wallets too cuz mine has been at least 1yr already. but sis reminded me though its old n abit worn, its still not spoilt and totally gone case yet. haha.. after resting for abt 15min at home, i changed and went out again to meet Jasmin, Keith Teo and MArcus at their church for the musical and also dinner. All in all, it was a reali nice evening and i reali enjoyed my time with them all.. appreciate their invitations to attend :) Also had a nice time talking with Keith's gf abt working in prison services. It was a short chat but and interesting one where we shared abit of experiences. Dinner was also nice chatting 3 their friends, Marcus, Keith and his gf (dun wanna risk misspelling her name here :x ) Dropped Keith, his gf and another of their frens at thomson for their drinks, i left for home. I would hav liked to join in the the later part of the evening to noe more of JAsmin's Marcus' and Keith's friends, but due to the time and also for me to hav a proper rest before a run early tmr morning, i decided i shldnt just go for 45min and then leave cuz it wun be very nice nor polite. Shall read the first chapter (for Day One) of my one Christmas present now :)
I hope God will carry her thru and her language can be mustered well and all before she goes off to Germany for SEP :)
Saturday, December 22, 2007
weekend
This weekend, so far i have nothing planned for. Awaiting confirmation to meet up with my sec sch buddies Pdus, Benny and Edwin again. probably tmr? haha still tbc. (recently i can only confirm things like 1 day before. how much i've changed...) Also, Marcus, Keith and Jasmin have kindly invited me to their Church for some christmas celebrations or musical tmr 23 Dec. I hope I can make it and thank them for their invitation =)
question of sincerity
ok, another week has passed. just like that, and so has the 2nd week of holidays for me. A week filled with many feelings, mixed with both happy, sad and confused. somehow, i feel glad that the week is over. or at least, almost over. I read Raynor's post on Relationships on his post, and that has gotten me thinking a lot somehow.
yesterday proved to be a day of super mixed feelings, the most of all days. The day started with work as usual, spending the time at office with my fellow VA officers. I had taken half day leave and it was to meet another friend. Since we'd agreed to only meet at 2.30, i left office at 2pm thereabouts. However, at the last min, literally, the last 15min, things were cancelled and i was given the reply "I cant make it today, sorry". My first reaction was of shock when i saw that sms while driving, and i almost hit the car in front of me. I never believed that such a thing would happen, just 15min before we were due to meet, with no clue whatsoever that this might happen. And tickets for Alvin and the Chipmunks and the performance at Mt.Faber have already been bought (not simply booked). but i told myself that it could have been something really really important that cropped up at the last min, hence blowing our meet away. I waited at PS for 2.5hours, from 2.30-5+, and after so long of waiting for a reply which never came, i jus made the decision of leaving the place. I wanted to wait somemore, but i just couldnt. I felt as if i'd wasted my time and day away. However, somehow, i still harbour the faith that it was something really important which caused the cancellation. Insincerity? I dont know.. at this moment, i dont want to come to any conclusions till i manage to find out what happened. This few days have been busy for my fren with projects, so i THINK it could be some last minute project thing that could have cropped up? i dunno. I think i deserve at least to know what was going on, after the sudden disappointment.
If someone agrees with u on something, but days later pulls back on that agreement, is that insincerity? u never know.. sometimes it seems to be so, but sometimes it could genuinely be something which cropped up and so it has to happen.
In the end, i ended up at Kyrin's place, and i went with her to take a look at the place, so as not to waste the paid-for tickets. It was a nice place, interesting, and we also took the time to have a nice chat about everything. And that brings me to think back again to something i have been thinking since early in the week. The question of how committed i shld be to something. Its not that i dont want to be committed, but over some past experiences, i dont dare to be too committed. To most, dating is the happiest thing and time, but for me, it dun seem so. That feeling of uncertainty harbours in me most often. Having talked to Kyrin, i also reaffirmed to myself that things need time, but some part of me also warns me against hoping too much, esp since there is a big difference which I cant do much about. I can only work on things, and let nature take its course.. cliche as it might sound, but some things just cannot be explained. I think Sam and Kyrin really makes a good couple, they understand each other perfectly, make time for each other, and they are never far from each others' minds, naturally. I envy them.. May they be together forever and for many many happy years to come.
Sunday: watched Nanking with Jasmin and her friend. It was a sad movie, and i think the saddest was listening to the ppl recounting their experiences, and looking at the actual clips taken from the wartime itself. We also spent sometime walking around, looking around vivo, chatting, looking at books etc.. it was a nice afternoon spent, and at 5+, i decided we send beth home, so that jasmin and her could have more time tog and continue talking more.. haha, and along the way, i blur-ly accidentally revealed that i was at Tecman the day before. So much for wanting to not reveal where i got the present and keep it a surprise til the moment i gave jas the present. grr how cock can i be? haa
Monday and Tuesday: mainly prep and prep for our in-camp Christmas celebrations on tues night.
Wednesday: mainly jus in office, and in the afternoon, headed back to sch to work on our pushbar til 8+. Was super drained then.. but during the time back at school, I learnt how to do welding! =) initially it was scary cos i was scared to be burnt by the flying arc and burning electrode, but i slowly got the hang of it. If i didnt have VA, i guess i would want to work on my welding skills more. Sam passed me a present from him and Kyrin and asked for my car keys to put into my car. It was a DVD of the LEs Miserables 10th Anniversary concert! Such dvds are hard to find on the market nowadays and only certain major stores carry them.. I wish one day Les Miserables will come to Singapore once more. Though i think it is a hope against hope. haha..
yesterday proved to be a day of super mixed feelings, the most of all days. The day started with work as usual, spending the time at office with my fellow VA officers. I had taken half day leave and it was to meet another friend. Since we'd agreed to only meet at 2.30, i left office at 2pm thereabouts. However, at the last min, literally, the last 15min, things were cancelled and i was given the reply "I cant make it today, sorry". My first reaction was of shock when i saw that sms while driving, and i almost hit the car in front of me. I never believed that such a thing would happen, just 15min before we were due to meet, with no clue whatsoever that this might happen. And tickets for Alvin and the Chipmunks and the performance at Mt.Faber have already been bought (not simply booked). but i told myself that it could have been something really really important that cropped up at the last min, hence blowing our meet away. I waited at PS for 2.5hours, from 2.30-5+, and after so long of waiting for a reply which never came, i jus made the decision of leaving the place. I wanted to wait somemore, but i just couldnt. I felt as if i'd wasted my time and day away. However, somehow, i still harbour the faith that it was something really important which caused the cancellation. Insincerity? I dont know.. at this moment, i dont want to come to any conclusions till i manage to find out what happened. This few days have been busy for my fren with projects, so i THINK it could be some last minute project thing that could have cropped up? i dunno. I think i deserve at least to know what was going on, after the sudden disappointment.
If someone agrees with u on something, but days later pulls back on that agreement, is that insincerity? u never know.. sometimes it seems to be so, but sometimes it could genuinely be something which cropped up and so it has to happen.
In the end, i ended up at Kyrin's place, and i went with her to take a look at the place, so as not to waste the paid-for tickets. It was a nice place, interesting, and we also took the time to have a nice chat about everything. And that brings me to think back again to something i have been thinking since early in the week. The question of how committed i shld be to something. Its not that i dont want to be committed, but over some past experiences, i dont dare to be too committed. To most, dating is the happiest thing and time, but for me, it dun seem so. That feeling of uncertainty harbours in me most often. Having talked to Kyrin, i also reaffirmed to myself that things need time, but some part of me also warns me against hoping too much, esp since there is a big difference which I cant do much about. I can only work on things, and let nature take its course.. cliche as it might sound, but some things just cannot be explained. I think Sam and Kyrin really makes a good couple, they understand each other perfectly, make time for each other, and they are never far from each others' minds, naturally. I envy them.. May they be together forever and for many many happy years to come.
Sunday: watched Nanking with Jasmin and her friend. It was a sad movie, and i think the saddest was listening to the ppl recounting their experiences, and looking at the actual clips taken from the wartime itself. We also spent sometime walking around, looking around vivo, chatting, looking at books etc.. it was a nice afternoon spent, and at 5+, i decided we send beth home, so that jasmin and her could have more time tog and continue talking more.. haha, and along the way, i blur-ly accidentally revealed that i was at Tecman the day before. So much for wanting to not reveal where i got the present and keep it a surprise til the moment i gave jas the present. grr how cock can i be? haa
Monday and Tuesday: mainly prep and prep for our in-camp Christmas celebrations on tues night.
Wednesday: mainly jus in office, and in the afternoon, headed back to sch to work on our pushbar til 8+. Was super drained then.. but during the time back at school, I learnt how to do welding! =) initially it was scary cos i was scared to be burnt by the flying arc and burning electrode, but i slowly got the hang of it. If i didnt have VA, i guess i would want to work on my welding skills more. Sam passed me a present from him and Kyrin and asked for my car keys to put into my car. It was a DVD of the LEs Miserables 10th Anniversary concert! Such dvds are hard to find on the market nowadays and only certain major stores carry them.. I wish one day Les Miserables will come to Singapore once more. Though i think it is a hope against hope. haha..
Friday, December 14, 2007
f r i d a y
ok, its friday again.. and one wk has jus gone, jus like tat! sooo fast. ohh myyy..
=( spent a pretty much of the day driving.. the good thing was that i headed straight to sungei gedong camp instead of back to camp, den to SG camp. from there, met some ex-instructors and the WOSEs, n hanging around looking at the guys doing the MMP. 2+, started out on a long ride from the ulu-est camp in lim chu kang and headed to concourse to buy the christmas stuffs for our unit christmas celeb on tues.. after which, Eugene Tay, Raynor n i headed to suntec to order another 2 turkeys :p ffoooooddddd! dinner at thomson... n im so tired again.. sheesh. hm, nx wk tues will be christmas celeb on tues. n there's a public hol on thurs..
=( spent a pretty much of the day driving.. the good thing was that i headed straight to sungei gedong camp instead of back to camp, den to SG camp. from there, met some ex-instructors and the WOSEs, n hanging around looking at the guys doing the MMP. 2+, started out on a long ride from the ulu-est camp in lim chu kang and headed to concourse to buy the christmas stuffs for our unit christmas celeb on tues.. after which, Eugene Tay, Raynor n i headed to suntec to order another 2 turkeys :p ffoooooddddd! dinner at thomson... n im so tired again.. sheesh. hm, nx wk tues will be christmas celeb on tues. n there's a public hol on thurs..
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
hols are here.. finallyyy .
hah, been soo long since i touched this again.. thanx to exams. well, dun wanna talk abt it.. rewinding my days a little bit..
Tues 11Dec: (today!)
the usual, reached office at 8am. made quite a few calls today. 1) Called the SSC first thing at 9am to ask abt the bible. asked them to help me check n check, but there wasnt a reported one =\ sighh =( 2) call to mt faber . 3) more calls here n there, rgding the parade, see if eugene n gang needed help or anyth. after lunch, drove raynor down to see the MO. and i think someone cleverly put the name list wrongly, he was the 2nd patient, ended up with a whole lot of guys who went in before him to see the MO. n he onli went in for 1 2min?! grrr.. n i went down to pick him back, ended up waiting for 1hr myself, with him too. haha. well, back to assisting with the parade n helping my colleagues. Day ended at abt 5.30.. went to recce the Life bookstore for some books and pay a visit to the vcd rental shop both at J8, before heading home.. hm, it was pretty relaxing looking at some of the books in the Life bookshop at junction8 4th level. looking around there..
Mon 10 Dec:
back to work! report to unit, n straightaway i kena a parade rehearsal.. nothing much, but still shag somehow, helping colleagues n friends shift n carry stuffs n all.. logistics stuffs. plus briefing on what to expect for the next few wks back at work. hmmmm. gonna hav to juggle with work/office and FSAE. hope my friends will all understand if im not able to make it back to sch as often and as much as everyone else. after work, i went straight back to sch, and dropped by the student service centre and campus security.. got hold of the number for SSC since it was closed alr, exactly at 6.30pm, no more no less! went on to Campus security to ask if they had picked up a lost bible, and i linked up with one of the guard 'uncles' to unlock the tut room and search the room.. searched high and low, but cldnt find it. The guard said the rooms were cleaned by the cleaners every single day and so often used. so, could be with the SSC. gave up searching after awhile, the room was reali toooo clean =X oh man.. I know how u probably feel right now. went on then to meet the FSAE guys, n after tat met with ws to return the sentosa card. went home and slept at 10.15 before waking again at 11, having forgotten to do sth. haha, shows how much i can sleep n get easily awakened eh?
Sun 9 Dec:
continue preping for my uniforms in the morning. caught Hero with Jas.. n had a nice time walking ard window shopping, n also bought wrapping paper n stuffs n she helped me wrap Sam's present.. now i hav an extra pair of sissors & one small roll of scotch tape. The movie was in Jap, so at first had a pretty hard time understanding, but gradually the picture came to me abt what the movie was about. TO think i was under the impression that it had something to do with the HeroS (with the 'S'). haha.. it was a great afternoon =) "thank you!"
after sending jas back, i went back to the Glass House. the journey onli took me 5min. cldnt believe it myself! was expecting a greatt jam on a sunday evening. had dinner with Sam, Kyrin, Ben and Xiaoping at The Glass House.. sup to be a surprise for SAm for his birthday. haa guess i din exactly lie too well yesterday when at Max's workshop. haha.. after dinner, the 4 of them went for a movie i think, i went home to do final packing for my stuffs n uniform for work tmr.
looking fwd to catching Nanking together =)
Sat 8 Dec:
Cousin's wedding day.. actually din involve me much. cos sis cldnt go. the day was spent with alot alot of driving around. Went to get Sam's present from MAx in AMK, but thanx to his absence, i had to run from AMK, to West Coast to borrow ws' sentosa free entry card, then back to AMK. and guess who i met at the workshop while i was leaving there for the first time? the birthday boy himself! grrr.. tink i was a bad liar. haha. watched Enchanted with sis in the evenin at vivocity.. its a v happy movie. =) a "happily ever after" movie .. haha
Fri 7 Dec:
backkk to school.. FSAE. briefings.. haha looks like this hols are gonna be tied up and pretty much banged up and burnt! spent a whole day in sch til 5+ before heading to PP to pick up mum and sis..
Thurs 6 Dec:
Met with 2 different friends, one whom i met in Engin camp, the other in the evening with an old old friend.. haha it was great catching up again =) its been toooo long.. haha. received an email from the seniors with regards to FSAE restarting once again.. tomoro to report for duty. aha
Wed 5 Dec:
Finally got to catch up with Pdus, Benny n Edwin once again after its been soo long! see lah? the results of being in diff schools. NTU, NUS & in NZ. haha.. watched 2 movies "Fred Claus" and "Golden Compass", plus a session of digging into Ben and Jerry's and KFC! heh..
Tues 11Dec: (today!)
the usual, reached office at 8am. made quite a few calls today. 1) Called the SSC first thing at 9am to ask abt the bible. asked them to help me check n check, but there wasnt a reported one =\ sighh =( 2) call to mt faber . 3) more calls here n there, rgding the parade, see if eugene n gang needed help or anyth. after lunch, drove raynor down to see the MO. and i think someone cleverly put the name list wrongly, he was the 2nd patient, ended up with a whole lot of guys who went in before him to see the MO. n he onli went in for 1 2min?! grrr.. n i went down to pick him back, ended up waiting for 1hr myself, with him too. haha. well, back to assisting with the parade n helping my colleagues. Day ended at abt 5.30.. went to recce the Life bookstore for some books and pay a visit to the vcd rental shop both at J8, before heading home.. hm, it was pretty relaxing looking at some of the books in the Life bookshop at junction8 4th level. looking around there..
Mon 10 Dec:
back to work! report to unit, n straightaway i kena a parade rehearsal.. nothing much, but still shag somehow, helping colleagues n friends shift n carry stuffs n all.. logistics stuffs. plus briefing on what to expect for the next few wks back at work. hmmmm. gonna hav to juggle with work/office and FSAE. hope my friends will all understand if im not able to make it back to sch as often and as much as everyone else. after work, i went straight back to sch, and dropped by the student service centre and campus security.. got hold of the number for SSC since it was closed alr, exactly at 6.30pm, no more no less! went on to Campus security to ask if they had picked up a lost bible, and i linked up with one of the guard 'uncles' to unlock the tut room and search the room.. searched high and low, but cldnt find it. The guard said the rooms were cleaned by the cleaners every single day and so often used. so, could be with the SSC. gave up searching after awhile, the room was reali toooo clean =X oh man.. I know how u probably feel right now. went on then to meet the FSAE guys, n after tat met with ws to return the sentosa card. went home and slept at 10.15 before waking again at 11, having forgotten to do sth. haha, shows how much i can sleep n get easily awakened eh?
Sun 9 Dec:
continue preping for my uniforms in the morning. caught Hero with Jas.. n had a nice time walking ard window shopping, n also bought wrapping paper n stuffs n she helped me wrap Sam's present.. now i hav an extra pair of sissors & one small roll of scotch tape. The movie was in Jap, so at first had a pretty hard time understanding, but gradually the picture came to me abt what the movie was about. TO think i was under the impression that it had something to do with the HeroS (with the 'S'). haha.. it was a great afternoon =) "thank you!"
after sending jas back, i went back to the Glass House. the journey onli took me 5min. cldnt believe it myself! was expecting a greatt jam on a sunday evening. had dinner with Sam, Kyrin, Ben and Xiaoping at The Glass House.. sup to be a surprise for SAm for his birthday. haa guess i din exactly lie too well yesterday when at Max's workshop. haha.. after dinner, the 4 of them went for a movie i think, i went home to do final packing for my stuffs n uniform for work tmr.
looking fwd to catching Nanking together =)
Sat 8 Dec:
Cousin's wedding day.. actually din involve me much. cos sis cldnt go. the day was spent with alot alot of driving around. Went to get Sam's present from MAx in AMK, but thanx to his absence, i had to run from AMK, to West Coast to borrow ws' sentosa free entry card, then back to AMK. and guess who i met at the workshop while i was leaving there for the first time? the birthday boy himself! grrr.. tink i was a bad liar. haha. watched Enchanted with sis in the evenin at vivocity.. its a v happy movie. =) a "happily ever after" movie .. haha
Fri 7 Dec:
backkk to school.. FSAE. briefings.. haha looks like this hols are gonna be tied up and pretty much banged up and burnt! spent a whole day in sch til 5+ before heading to PP to pick up mum and sis..
Thurs 6 Dec:
Met with 2 different friends, one whom i met in Engin camp, the other in the evening with an old old friend.. haha it was great catching up again =) its been toooo long.. haha. received an email from the seniors with regards to FSAE restarting once again.. tomoro to report for duty. aha
Wed 5 Dec:
Finally got to catch up with Pdus, Benny n Edwin once again after its been soo long! see lah? the results of being in diff schools. NTU, NUS & in NZ. haha.. watched 2 movies "Fred Claus" and "Golden Compass", plus a session of digging into Ben and Jerry's and KFC! heh..
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