Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
the past week . . .
The past week has been good.. keeping busy with school, slacking, and chatting and meeting a new fren.. ( thanx! =)) ) seems to be a blessing as it came to me during a downtime, and i feel like i've been picked up once again in the past 11 days. Relief. Thank you very much =))
Time to do some sorting out of my timetable and stuffs, and to re-discipline myself. Have to juggle projects, tutorials, my own training/exercising and activities with some friends so that i do not overlook any of these large "stones" in my life.. They'r impt to me and no matter what, i'l make time for these. Even if it might just be for an hour or 2 for a simple meal or meetup. Such times are meant to be treasured. Its worth squeezing out time for :)
Went to 3 places yesterday to recce positions for taking of the sunset photos. Kent Ridge Park, rooftop of EA blk and West Coast Park. The barriers at WCP have been taken off, and now it is even nicer than before. The feeling of walking alongside the sea might be slightly different from at ECP since one has the beach and sand while the former is mainly grass, it still has a pretty nice view out to sea. I think i shld take out time to hav a run there.
February is coming, and so is Chinese New Year. One more week.. fast fast. Before we know it, the design project is due on 18 Feb. Falling in love with motors and batteries. yah right.
Time to do some sorting out of my timetable and stuffs, and to re-discipline myself. Have to juggle projects, tutorials, my own training/exercising and activities with some friends so that i do not overlook any of these large "stones" in my life.. They'r impt to me and no matter what, i'l make time for these. Even if it might just be for an hour or 2 for a simple meal or meetup. Such times are meant to be treasured. Its worth squeezing out time for :)
Went to 3 places yesterday to recce positions for taking of the sunset photos. Kent Ridge Park, rooftop of EA blk and West Coast Park. The barriers at WCP have been taken off, and now it is even nicer than before. The feeling of walking alongside the sea might be slightly different from at ECP since one has the beach and sand while the former is mainly grass, it still has a pretty nice view out to sea. I think i shld take out time to hav a run there.
February is coming, and so is Chinese New Year. One more week.. fast fast. Before we know it, the design project is due on 18 Feb. Falling in love with motors and batteries. yah right.
Monday, January 21, 2008
an "xtra" summons
Went to the AXS machine near my house tis morning to pay for the $20 fine i got for 'overstaying' at the carpark at Serangoon Gardens on 10 Jan, and i was shocked to see that i had another summons, $30! for that on 14 Jan. but that day, I was with my friend, and at Prinsep street, my coupon was all torn correctly.. so where did it come from? didnt receive any ticket from them on my windscreen, so am very surprised to see that $30 fine in my account under my car plate. Luckily i looked before i selected "pay all". Trying to file an appeal now to get it checked out. bleahh
had a pretty nice day, thouugh im once again remineded of how lectures can put me to sleep, or at least, make my mind exercise and "run off" ie lose concentration. Ok, that was a lame attempt at being lame.
Another 4 hours break tmr from 12-4pm. Just to wait for a 1hr lecture from 4-5pm.
Damn >.<
had a pretty nice day, thouugh im once again remineded of how lectures can put me to sleep, or at least, make my mind exercise and "run off" ie lose concentration. Ok, that was a lame attempt at being lame.
Another 4 hours break tmr from 12-4pm. Just to wait for a 1hr lecture from 4-5pm.
Damn >.<
Sunday, January 20, 2008
1 week's gone. Just like that.. reminds me of how fast time can be once again. Back in dec during my VA days, the weeks seemed to pass abit slower as compared to that during school time. And of course, with more enjoyment and less "headaches".
Thursday, caught up with Craig (FINALLY!). Had lunch with him and Roy at the Ginza market food centre, our standard chicken rice. And then stoned in his room, before i decided to head back home for a rest n bath before back to school at 6pm again for Heavenly MAths lecture.
Friday: 9-10am lecture. Well, to be precise, 9-9.45am lecture. After which, Sam Kyrin Mel Jian and I went to Ginza for breakfast, and then headed to Clementi bookstore to buy the textbook for Feedback Control. Had an afternoon free then. Met up with the VA guys as well. Good catching up time =)
Saturday. Was online all day. Basically just stoned and relaxed at home. Surfed net. And had a "great" time sorting out my tutorial timetable.
Today:
I was supposed to go cycling with Sara, but she wasnt feeling well. Wanted her to rest at home instead, but she wanted to come out still, so we went to Ikea for our "chapalang" breakfast. Before that, had a brief meet with Berlin as well =)
SAra and I had a good chat during tat time. She bought a laptop support with cushion, and i almost psycho-ed her to buy a stand for her printer! hehe =P And I felt abit better after opening up my thoughts.. Went to cut my hair in the afternoon as well.
Though it still stings even though it has been 1week now, but still. Life goes on. I dont want to let one sentence drag me down with such disappointment for so long. Its simply not worth it anymore. Up till now, I still cant believe those words that were said. Yeah, they were small simple words, and it is afterall a minute issue. And yes, it will seem like i am a bickering childish small boy. Perhaps its just a gender thing, but then again, that doesnt seem to make sense because the current situation obviously is proving that gender differences is nOt to be the case. Perhaps it is just me. Yes, I have put myself in the shoes and thought about it, for days. From the male-female point of views even. To be fair, there have been good times spent too.. But now I am jus so disappointed that the amount of sensitivity, considerations, effort which i'd put in all these while towards the friendship, and sensitivity towards one's feelings, to build up a trusted friendship, on normal times as well as during that difficult time, seemed to be all simply gone to naught. What i showed as concern, became apparently "overwhelming". Even though i'd hardly called, or done much of other things to indicate making a move. Other than wanting to help ensure the safety of the individual. And do something. As compared to what certain others have done, I'm sure it would be more "guilty" of that than i was. But well, i dont want to compare things anymore.From that moment on, things changed. I lost my feelings, my trust, and beliefs that showing sensitivy to one's thoughts and feelings actually is worth doing. I have nothing to say at all. I'm dumbfounded. Totally.
I also watched "Step Up" during the afternoon. Am super impressed by the movie as well as the cool dance moves! makes me wanna take up something new to learn.. hahaha. and of course, reminds me of my Rag dance days in 2006! Love u all fellow raggers. Though i think i've distanced abit over the months.. but I still rmb those days n the fun n all that we had =)
Thursday, caught up with Craig (FINALLY!). Had lunch with him and Roy at the Ginza market food centre, our standard chicken rice. And then stoned in his room, before i decided to head back home for a rest n bath before back to school at 6pm again for Heavenly MAths lecture.
Friday: 9-10am lecture. Well, to be precise, 9-9.45am lecture. After which, Sam Kyrin Mel Jian and I went to Ginza for breakfast, and then headed to Clementi bookstore to buy the textbook for Feedback Control. Had an afternoon free then. Met up with the VA guys as well. Good catching up time =)
Saturday. Was online all day. Basically just stoned and relaxed at home. Surfed net. And had a "great" time sorting out my tutorial timetable.
Today:
I was supposed to go cycling with Sara, but she wasnt feeling well. Wanted her to rest at home instead, but she wanted to come out still, so we went to Ikea for our "chapalang" breakfast. Before that, had a brief meet with Berlin as well =)
SAra and I had a good chat during tat time. She bought a laptop support with cushion, and i almost psycho-ed her to buy a stand for her printer! hehe =P And I felt abit better after opening up my thoughts.. Went to cut my hair in the afternoon as well.
Though it still stings even though it has been 1week now, but still. Life goes on. I dont want to let one sentence drag me down with such disappointment for so long. Its simply not worth it anymore. Up till now, I still cant believe those words that were said. Yeah, they were small simple words, and it is afterall a minute issue. And yes, it will seem like i am a bickering childish small boy. Perhaps its just a gender thing, but then again, that doesnt seem to make sense because the current situation obviously is proving that gender differences is nOt to be the case. Perhaps it is just me. Yes, I have put myself in the shoes and thought about it, for days. From the male-female point of views even. To be fair, there have been good times spent too.. But now I am jus so disappointed that the amount of sensitivity, considerations, effort which i'd put in all these while towards the friendship, and sensitivity towards one's feelings, to build up a trusted friendship, on normal times as well as during that difficult time, seemed to be all simply gone to naught. What i showed as concern, became apparently "overwhelming". Even though i'd hardly called, or done much of other things to indicate making a move. Other than wanting to help ensure the safety of the individual. And do something. As compared to what certain others have done, I'm sure it would be more "guilty" of that than i was. But well, i dont want to compare things anymore.From that moment on, things changed. I lost my feelings, my trust, and beliefs that showing sensitivy to one's thoughts and feelings actually is worth doing. I have nothing to say at all. I'm dumbfounded. Totally.
I also watched "Step Up" during the afternoon. Am super impressed by the movie as well as the cool dance moves! makes me wanna take up something new to learn.. hahaha. and of course, reminds me of my Rag dance days in 2006! Love u all fellow raggers. Though i think i've distanced abit over the months.. but I still rmb those days n the fun n all that we had =)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
school restarts
Life has to go on, doesnt it? No matter what we face along the way. The past few days, school has restarted. Today it's already day3, wednesday. Before we know it, its the weekend again, and 1 week of school will be gone. Just like that. The past few days were pretty uneventful, the norm. Jus like it was in last semester.
Well, AlmOSt.
These few days, jus been keeping myself busy and getting over that disappointment. With some friends in school, talking mostly with Raynor, Craig, Sara, Faith, Beth, Zhihua, plus amongst afew more others whom i also ran into in lecture today -- the old friends, Weicheng, Lenny, Edmund, Gee Hoe, Michelle. Was very nice too of Liping and Michelle to have gotten a little something for me from overseas. (during the hols, Liping went to the US while Michelle went back to HK for 3wks).. Also, each day exploring through IVLE, searching for notes to print, and some net surfing, and then sleep.
Thursday is approaching.
Well, AlmOSt.
These few days, jus been keeping myself busy and getting over that disappointment. With some friends in school, talking mostly with Raynor, Craig, Sara, Faith, Beth, Zhihua, plus amongst afew more others whom i also ran into in lecture today -- the old friends, Weicheng, Lenny, Edmund, Gee Hoe, Michelle. Was very nice too of Liping and Michelle to have gotten a little something for me from overseas. (during the hols, Liping went to the US while Michelle went back to HK for 3wks).. Also, each day exploring through IVLE, searching for notes to print, and some net surfing, and then sleep.
Thursday is approaching.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
a song which got me re-hooked once again..
A song which got me re-hooked once again afew days ago. Follow your heart. Like one of the books which Andrew Matthews wrote as well. Sometimes its good to simply follow your heart. Open up and not let things boil up within you. This is to prevent "implosion", so to speak.
sigh. mood's flipped upside down again.
Stay The Same -- Joey Mcintyre
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
sigh. mood's flipped upside down again.
Stay The Same -- Joey Mcintyre
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you¹re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there¹s nothin' 'bout you I would change.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My blog -- A little Disclaimer .
hm, I think im finally making full use of my blog here. haha..
A little disclaimer to all:
words and content listed are not supposed to offend anyone. They'r just purely my thoughts and feelings which sometimes i might find somewhat hard to express, or simply jus to write it out on a place. Anytime, anywhere, when it hits me and i know of how to express it out.
A little disclaimer to all:
words and content listed are not supposed to offend anyone. They'r just purely my thoughts and feelings which sometimes i might find somewhat hard to express, or simply jus to write it out on a place. Anytime, anywhere, when it hits me and i know of how to express it out.
Many a times these days go past without me wondering. Words cant describe how much of a "sian-ness" -- a downed feeling -- i feel now, been feeling for the past few days. Yes, it might seem to be a small incident to some, since i wasnt there. But that surprise and shock, how much i thought about it since. How i wished i was there. Perhaps things would have been different. Maybe i could have done something to look out, and it would have been averted. Alot of maybes. All because i fell sick and i couldnt make it. Many things, i want to ask more about, to say more, but i dont dare to. I am afraid that i might ask or say something wrong. Or something that might trigger off something else. So i don't know what else i can or should do. Except keep quiet. And being very careful abt wat i say or do.
All i can do now, and am doing, is pray. That everything is alright now. That your confidence has returned, slowly but returning. That you will recover soon. And your cheer will return to as it was before. The laugh, the jestering, the "kah-jiao-ing". Everything. There's only one way i can help u when school starts. And I hope u will allow me to. Its the least I can do.. Even if its simply just as a fren, a 'neighbour'. =)
I know that sometimes, i really am bad at showing my concern and thoughts.
But I care. I really do.
All i can do now, and am doing, is pray. That everything is alright now. That your confidence has returned, slowly but returning. That you will recover soon. And your cheer will return to as it was before. The laugh, the jestering, the "kah-jiao-ing". Everything. There's only one way i can help u when school starts. And I hope u will allow me to. Its the least I can do.. Even if its simply just as a fren, a 'neighbour'. =)
I know that sometimes, i really am bad at showing my concern and thoughts.
But I care. I really do.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
lots and lots of thinking
sometimes i wonder: is it really good to talk to someone about personal things which are on your mind? i mean, confiding in someone, will help you to speak out your mind, probably have another perception presented to you, all the while, for you to keep ur feelings in check, and calming yourself down. but yet again, it gives the other person a certain impression, and imprint a mindset on that person. Not a very positive way, since u never know what that person thinks, or what he might tell others. But then again, u trust your friends. Speaking out is a good way? or not? hmmm..
Monday, January 7, 2008
Im sorry to all those whom i've offended along the way, knowingly or unknowingly. Been selfish in my thinking sometimes, i know. Regret having thoughts, but is apologising good enough? Caring about something or someone, is there such a thing as caring too much? when things dont exactly seem the way it is, and you have the initial unhappy thoughts, and you voice it out to someone, and then you decide to let it go as a small matter, is it wrong to feel this way too? Is it wrong to voice it out? or just keep it within yourself and let it pass? Sometimes i wish that my brain doesnt think at all, and that i wouldnt have to think of things. period.
Mixed feelings, all come together. Not a good feeling to have at all. Think i should attend a feeling-management course, so that i dont think too much, and curb some of the mood swings tat i experienced during this difficult time of falling sick and various other events. I can only say that im only human being, and I make mistakes, have my flaws, jus like everyone else do in other aspects perhaps.
Mixed feelings, all come together. Not a good feeling to have at all. Think i should attend a feeling-management course, so that i dont think too much, and curb some of the mood swings tat i experienced during this difficult time of falling sick and various other events. I can only say that im only human being, and I make mistakes, have my flaws, jus like everyone else do in other aspects perhaps.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
A New Chapter begins
Happy New Year! and goodbye to yr2007.. it has definitely been another interesting year, esp since in Uni, as well as having vacation attachment during the months from May-Aug and Dec07-Jan08. Many things hav happened, the good times, the bad times. WEll, that's life, isnt it? All of us have our fair share of ups and downs. Some downs are really downs, but we have to overcome those to move on, and make life interesting, enjoyable and bearable. New year's eve, had a ball of a time in camp, after a run in the morning with everyone else (and me suffering of course), a small celebration in the mess, and then walked around with Raynor and Eugene Tay at Sim Lim searching for an external harddisk. Raynor and Eugene kindly came with me cuz i was so blur n unsure of wat the heck is a firewire. Well, I finally saw what it was and what it looked like, but cost-wise, well..it aint too cheap. haha.. but 500GB, it shld be sufficient for me for sometime to come. Spent the evening out for dinner and Warlords at Cathay and walking around before heading home. Along the way home, saw throngs of ppl all over the place, and padang had ppl sitting down occupying the best seats, waiting for 12am to come, and the fireworks to burst.. 1 Jan was pretty alright, spent the day at home, and also chatting with Faith, talking abt many things, modules, games! haha.. and of cos, headaching abt modules as well.. sigh. ITs the time of the sem again. 2 most headache-y times of the semesters: (1) during exam times! and (2) the time of bidding for modules. One might think it is quite simple, cuz its jus simply bidding for modules, choosing wat we want, and tat's it. But if we really look at the situation, there's various factors to consider. Bid points, popularity, and especially, whether there were exam and lecture clashes. Right now, i still hope to be able to take Science of Music, but looking at the past bid points, i can only cross my fingers and hope. if not, my backup plans have to kick into action. haha.
2 Jan (Wednesday):
was on half day leave today, and met with Jasmin, Jasmine and Marcus for a belated celebration for Jasmine's bdae. Went to Yuki Yaki at Marina Square. It was certainly an eye opener, since i've never been there before, and the way of "food prep" was unique too. Especially the preparations for the ice cream! we all sat there from abt 1.45 to 4.50pm, having a ball of a time eating n chatting n fooling around with the icecream "cooker". We had a walk around after tat, looking at clothes, shops, etc.. and each of us also met out own friends along the way! which was pretty coincidental as well. After dinner with em, met up with Evelyn, after 1year! we had a good chat, and im v glad to see that she's doing fine for stuffs in sch and personal stuffs.. it must have been the 3 or 4th time i have walked and walked marina and raffles city in the past 7days.
Well, as the hols comes to an end slowly, and the sem is about to start, many things start going thru my mind again. Sometimes i wonder why is it i just cant get things right. and why my results, no matter how i work, its still the same dismal results. And when some ppl discuss about results, they either give u the shocked unbelieving look that "how come u cant get A's and B's?!" . or some will seem even more dismayed and sad than u, and describing as if they'd failed and gotten REAL horrendous results, when all they've gotten is a B at most. and well, it gets kinda demoralising seeing everyone around u improving by leaps and bounds while i myself am crawling at a snail's pace.
2 Jan (Wednesday):
was on half day leave today, and met with Jasmin, Jasmine and Marcus for a belated celebration for Jasmine's bdae. Went to Yuki Yaki at Marina Square. It was certainly an eye opener, since i've never been there before, and the way of "food prep" was unique too. Especially the preparations for the ice cream! we all sat there from abt 1.45 to 4.50pm, having a ball of a time eating n chatting n fooling around with the icecream "cooker". We had a walk around after tat, looking at clothes, shops, etc.. and each of us also met out own friends along the way! which was pretty coincidental as well. After dinner with em, met up with Evelyn, after 1year! we had a good chat, and im v glad to see that she's doing fine for stuffs in sch and personal stuffs.. it must have been the 3 or 4th time i have walked and walked marina and raffles city in the past 7days.
Well, as the hols comes to an end slowly, and the sem is about to start, many things start going thru my mind again. Sometimes i wonder why is it i just cant get things right. and why my results, no matter how i work, its still the same dismal results. And when some ppl discuss about results, they either give u the shocked unbelieving look that "how come u cant get A's and B's?!" . or some will seem even more dismayed and sad than u, and describing as if they'd failed and gotten REAL horrendous results, when all they've gotten is a B at most. and well, it gets kinda demoralising seeing everyone around u improving by leaps and bounds while i myself am crawling at a snail's pace.
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